


Storm

by TheDarkDragonfly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Light Angst, Romance, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27570079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkDragonfly/pseuds/TheDarkDragonfly
Summary: AU - Multi-chapter, multi-part story which follows a choice made at the beginning stages of the New Republic. A choice which sets Han & Leia on an entirely new course. A little dark at times - fair warning: rating may elevate. R&R
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own them - i wish i did though...

The apartment was cold. Leia sat in the centre of the living room, staring out over the never-sleeping cityscape which had been her home for nearly a year. Behind her, the galley gleamed bright white from the light of the window, reflecting off the ultra-modern sleek finishes which she had never been entirely partial too.

The day seemed a month long, and all she really wanted to do was curl up and sleep for years. But she couldn't, not yet. So she sat instead, cold tea forgotten in her hands, feet folded underneath her, clad in lined leggings and one of Han's old shirts. She certainly didn't look like a princess, and in that moment she didn't feel like much of one either. She glanced again - annoyed at herself for doing so - at the commlink lying beside her. It too, like the room she was waiting in, was silent. She hadn't received notification that he had landed, but then again - she swirled her tea absently - she didn't really expect to, at least, not anymore. How long had it been? Three months? It felt longer. Gone on a mission he shouldn't have been handed in the first place, they had hardly spoken to each other over the last several weeks. His campaign had pushed him deeper and deep towards the rim worlds, and communication had been sketchy at best.

As if needing him could summon him, the door slid open and Han walked through, dragging two large duffel bags along with him. He heaved a heavy sigh and dropped his baggage at the entry, kicking off his boots with a tired thud and closing the distance between them in several long strides. He reached down tenderly to kiss her - hoping to savor the usual sweet reunion of homecoming, when she grabbed him, pulling him down to her, desperate and hungry.

"I missed you." she gasped, as he half collapsed on top of her, clutching her solidly around her small frame, trying hard not to over balance completely as her hands scrambled at his back. He chuckled, moving his hands to frame her face, pulling her back slightly so he could look at her. "I missed you too. I didn't expect you to still be up."

"I wanted to wait for you."

"I'm glad." he smiled and tucked her hair back.

"I expected you earlier, did you run into trouble?" Her large eyes searching his face made him feel slightly guilty for avoiding her this afternoon.

"No, I got in earlier, just had a lot to do before I could even think of coming home." It was a half-ass lie, and she would have known that as soon as it was out of his mouth.

"Oh." she glanced down, hands twisted ever so slightly in her lap.

"But," he continued, sidling more comfortably onto the sofa beside her, and dropping his voice down to a conspiratorial whisper, "I'm not going anywhere tomorrow. And neither are you." She brightened at that, which was a little out of character. It was usually not a hard sell to keep her to himself the day after he got home, but it was usually a sell. She would argue - lamely - that she couldn't, that she had too much to do, that she simply wasn't able to just take time off whenever she felt like it. But none of her usual arguments were given, instead she simply sighed and leaned back into him, pulling his arms around her and breathing deeply several times.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I'm just so happy you're home." she tucked her head under his chin.

"How was your day"

"Fine." She stiffened. "When did you get back?"

"I was planet-side by 1300, but it took a while to get everything finished up. I was back at the office by 1600-ish."

"At the office?"

He nodded, wondering at her elusive mood. He was tired, he missed her, and the last thing he really wanted to do right now was try to push her into answering the question he really needed to ask her.

"Do you want tea?" She suddenly asked, pulling out of his arms and grabbing up her cold glass from beside her where he had relegated it from her hands moments ago to the low table. Tea usually worked in getting her talking, so he nodded in agreement.

"How did the delegation go?" He called from the sofa, closing his eyes against the question. He had already seen how it had gone. He had watched as her whole body stiffened and her voice take on more of her royal accent, reserved only for times of stress and uncertainty.

"Fine. They'll be here for some time yet, though, I imagine." she hedged.

"They seemed fairly serious."

"About joining? I hope so."

"Leia-"

"Here. Tea." she announced and placed the mug into his hands.

"Leia."

She didn't answer him.

"Leia." he whispered, harder this time. Finally she looked up at him.

"Yes?" her voice was tiny, echoing still through the bleak openness of their apartment.

"I was there."

Han watched her chest expand, as if it would explode. Redness crept up her throat and she darted her eyes down to watch the steam curl and creep outwards into the air between them.

"Oh." She said at last.

"You said you would consider it." It wasn't a question. She nodded slowly. "I didn't know what else to say." Her voice was small - even to her own ears. Her brain was evading her; she had to tell him, before he pulled a classic Solo and threw something - but her mouth wouldn't form any semblance of words. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "Is that why you didn't come back here right away?"

"I just needed some space, Sweetheart. It was... a bit of a shock."

"Yeah," she spat out - angry now. "It was."

"Hey, that wasn't an easy thing to hear you know, I just-"

"You had space, Han! Three months of it! I was waiting for you tonight. Here. Alone. While you were out - what? Licking wounds without even bothering to come see me first? That's hardly fair, is it?"

"Mon said you would likely accept the offer. She was very happy for you." He sat back, defensively. That's good, Solo. Get her all riled up. That's what you really need to be doing. His sub-conscience growled at him. He was starting to be an ass.

"Ha!" Leia laughed bitterly. "I bet she did!"

They sat in silence - a stalemate - for some time. Leia watching her tea, Han watching her. Then at long last, she raised her eyes to meet his again and he saw they were no longer angry, at least, for now, not angry at him. Instead, they were wet with tears. He felt like shit, here she was trying to talk to him about it, and he was just attacking her. Han set his mug down and sighed. He was tired. Bone tired. And all he really wanted to do was go to bed. They could deal with all of this in the morning. He was about to say as much when she blinked, two large tears tracked quickly down her cheeks, took a deep breath and spoke.

"I resigned."


	2. Chapter 2

"I had to." She added quietly, staring down again at her tea. He took the mug from her - her hands cold despite the hot ceramic. "Why?" He knew why, or at least, he was pretty sure he did. But he wanted to hear it, wanted to watch her say it was for him. For them.

"This isn't the government I helped build." She said simply.

They had sat looking at each other for a long while, when Leia suddenly stood and stalked towards the window.

"I will not represent something which barters so openly with peoples lives. I spend the first twenty-odd years of my life planning to pull that type of government down. I refuse to sit back and participate in one which is simply newer and shinier."

Han pushed himself up and went to her, leaning a hand on the glass over her shoulder and staring out at the city around them, he said nothing. There was so much to say. But where to start?

"So, anyway," she was quieter now, anger seeping from her as he rested a large hand on her small back. "I resigned."

"You're sure that's what you want? I know how important it is to you, Leia."

She tuned, and leaned back against the window - something she never did, it always made her feel like she was about to fall - but, she mused, watching his face. She had already fallen a few times today, the thought wasn't so scary anymore.

"You're important to me." she said simply and that made him smile. "And, I won't let them throw you away. Or me, for that matter - which is exactly what they are doing. Trying to ship me off to a closed up society, keep me safely tucked away in their back pocket. After everything we've been through, all we've done for them? This is their next move? No."

She was so cute when she got all fired up over something, he thought, watching her get more and more animated as she spoke. Her small hands moving too in agitation. He was used to watching her talk like this, he had sat across from her in enough closed room meetings and beside her at too many formals dinners to be surprised by her outburst, or the calculated way she used words. But, it was always nice when it was about him, not shipping schedules or strategic troop maneuvers.

"I wont let them throw you away. And certainly I won't let them ignore who I am. This is political posturing and I won't stand for it. We've been together for four years, and they think I would even consider- it's insulting."

"Well... yeah. It is."

"I'm sorry though. I should have spoken to you about it before I did it. It was rash and selfish. I'm sorry."

"Hey-"

"No, it was. I was just so mad."

"It's okay, shhh. Hey, listen. I've been trying to pull you away from them for seven years. I don't love you because of what you do. Most of the time, I love you in spite of that." This made her smile, which had been his intention. And he was right. He had tried, over and over again - mostly to annoy her - to convince her that she should pack it in and come live with him on the Falcon, she was a good shot, and the company was always welcome. He continued more gently, running a hand down her arm. "I just don't want you to regret it."

"I won't."

"Listen to me, Leia. I love you, but I don't want you to give this up for me - for us," he quickly corrected as she opened her mouth to interrupt him. "and hate me for it in a few years, because you could have done more."

"Never. I promise. This is my choice. And they made it for me."

"Come on. Let's go to bed. I'm dead on my feet. And tomorrow, we'll figure out what else we need to do."

She let him lead her down the long hallway towards their bedroom and watched him pull his clothes off as she sat on the bed.

"What did you mean 'what else'?" She asked as he disappeared into the fresher.

"Well, the last time I checked, I was still a high ranked New Republic General."

"Yeah."

"And you're no longer a member of the Council."

"You catch on quick." She quipped and pulled his shirt over her head, crawling under the covers.

"Okay, so then what happens when I'm dispatched again?"

"Oh."

"I'm planet-side for at a minimum of two standard weeks - I read my contract," he winked at her, climbing under the cold sheets with her. "But, after that - I have no idea where I'll be or for how long. Where does that leave you?"

"I don't know." She hadn't thought of that, and said as much. He laughed quietly, pulling her next to him and sighed.

"Yeah, I know." She was too tired to argue with him, or even to pretend to be offended by the way he knew her all too well sometimes. So instead, she relaxed and let the sound of his breathing next to her lull to her sleep.

xXx

"This is weird."

"It would be less weird if you were still naked." He pointed out, striding slowly across the bedroom.

She rolled her eyes at him and leaned back against the headboard.

"It's weird," she continued, giving him a rather pointed look. "Because I have no where to be this morning. Oh, thank you." She took the cup of caf from him. "On on that note, you're wearing pants. How is it weird for me to wear this?" She gestured to the over-sized sweater which hung from her small frame. It had originally been his - where he had gotten it he had no idea. The letter was faded and the hem was coming apart, but she loved it. He had angrily given it to her years ago on their trip to Bespin after a fight; she had kept it ever since. He kicked the pants off and leered at her.

"Only to the kitchen and back, Sweetheart. That caf machine splatters too much for my liking. But, I suppose we wont have to worry about that for too much longer." He sighed happily and grabbed his datapad from beside him.

"What do you mean?"

"We can't stay here. These are your appointed quarters and you resigned."

"Oh! I hadn't thought of that either. I did not think this through. Well, I guess we'll have to move." He nodded, staring down at the pad.

"Shit."

"What?"

"We're homeless! And it's all my fault."

"We're not homeless."

"Well, we have no home. Last time I checked, Flyboy, that meant you were homeless."

"Relax."

"You would think I would be used to it, I haven't had a home in, what? Nearly seven years."

"Stop it. We're fine. And don't be ridiculous. You have a home. You have me and I have the Falcon. We have the Falcon."

She made an 'aww' face and snuggled up next to him. "I hate packing."

"Then it's a good thing we don't actually own much. None of this horrible furniture is ours. The only things we have are clothes, really."

"And the glasses from the bar. And my art." She smiled. He smiled back at her. They had traveled down several levels to an underground auction house the last time he was on leave, they hadn't gone for anything in particular, but had come home with an odd-ball collection of hand crafted glassware for their bar. It was the first unnecessary thing they had ever bought as a couple, and it had given them both a sense of grounding. The glasses signified a future neither of them had ever spoke of before. And, small as they were, those glasses had given them both hope.

"Okay then, see. Nothing to worry about. You could always come and live with me in the Officer's Barracks."

"Mmm. Tempting, but... no thanks." She smirked.

"Oh come on. Lot's of guys have their girlfriends staying with them."

"You're making fun of me."

"Maybe, here, what about this place?" He handed her the datapad, pictures of a beautiful two level apartment swooshed across the screen. The rooms were bright and open, friendly and welcoming. There was a large staircase which swept up from the living area. "Does that go to the master suite?" Han nodded.

"It's lovely." He nodded again. "This isn't a rental unit."

"No, it's not." He shook his head slowly, watching her. A flutter of excited worry shot through her.

"Can we afford something like that?" She handed the pad back to him.

"Depends." He edged, dropping the battered device onto the floor.

"On?"

"Whether I stay or not."


	3. Chapter Three

Leia stiffened next to him and he leaned over her to grab his datapad which had been discarded from the night before.

"Stay?" she questioned.

"Yeah." Han swiped across the screen of his datapad again.

"Stay where?"

"Here." He clicked a few more times.

She pushed away from him. "If I were you, Solo, I would start using more than one word answers."

"With the Republic I mean. Hey, come here." Finally turning to face her, he caught sight of a fleeting moment of uncertainly, fear and something else, something which had no place on her lovely face. He pulled her next to him. "You can't think I would leave you, Leia. We've been over this. I'm not going anywhere."

She said nothing, only tucked herself closer to him and turned her face away.

"What is it?"

"I don't know." she shrugged. Leia wasn't vulnerable often, strong and stubborn as she was; she rarely had time for vulnerability. But every so often, under the tough, beautiful exterior, a small glimpse of the woman who had lost everything, fought too hard and seen a bit too much peeked through.

"It was a shit day." It wasn't so much a statement as it was an exhausted half question. He could argue that it hadn't been - not really. That the decision she had forced on the both of them, that while massive and quickly executed, was exactly what he had hoped for the last five or so years.

Hell. He had wanted to steal her away since she cried beside him after the battle at Yavin. Young and brave, she had sat next to him, careful not to sit too close, silent tears streaming down her face. They had sat in silence. Neither wanting to ruin the small bright light of truce. A tiny momentary port in the horrible swirling storm which now threatened even larger.

They had come so far, in the last seven years. But that was the thing about storms, Han knew as he briefly kissed her temple feeling her relax further into his side, they were inevitable, powerful and creative. Destructive and blinding. And now, even here, sitting quietly with the woman he loved, Han could feel it. A tension building. It was not over yet. Not by a long shot. But at least this time, at least they knew they has each other.

* * *

"This is amazing. We need to go back to Kashyyyk, and soon."

"We've got nothing but time, Sweetheart. Just say the word and-" Han was cut short by the door chime. Leia shook her head resigned.

"It's Luke." she said, popping another slice of custard bread into the toaster and ran a hand down her messy half braid. Han would never let on where he managed to find her favourite childhood bread, it tasted of lazy summer days on Alderaan in the meadow, and she loved it. Especially as she was enjoying it right now, unhurried and strangely happy to do nothing - at least for the moment.

Han had wandered over to the door by the time Luke's second impatient chime tinkled through the air.

"It's all over the news." He exclaimed, clapping Han on the back in greeting. "Welcome back by the way. Go well?"

"Sure. Gave em' hell. That's all I can ask for." Han grinned that same cocky half smile he had and waved Luke through to the kitchen.

"Hey, I was just telling Han, you're all over the holonet. You made the top story on every channel I found this morning."

"Oh good." Leia swallowed another piece her honeyed custard toast. Malla's home-harvested honey; it was simply the best.

"Haven't you watched any of it?" Luke turned shocked eyes back and forth between the couple.

"Nope." Leia's toast strang up and Han stanched it before she could. Narrowing her eyes at him in mock warning she gestured to the caf machine and quirked a brow at her brother. Luke smiled and moved passed her, grabbing a mug off the glass shelving unit and pouring a glass.

"Really? I find that hard to believe. You're always glued to that thing when I come over."

Leia shrugged, a bit uncomfortably. "Well, now I don't have to be."

"I guess. Big news though. I didn't expect that when I saw the first few seconds of the report after my run this morning. You knocked me over, Leia. You sure?"

"Do you _actually_ want something, Skywalker?" She pointed her baby finger at him, biting into the breakfast balanced between her fingers - chewing like she was taking bites out of someone's arm. His, most likely, Luke knew.

"I just wanted to know you're okay, that's all."

"I'm fine."

"It's a big change." He offered softly.

"Not really." Leia pulled herself up, Political-Leia now starting to show.

"Leia. That was your _life_."

"No. It wasn't. This is my life." She pointed sharply around the room. "This; right here. And I won't have you, or anyone else try to tell me what or how I should be living it. Got it, Skywalker?" Her eyes were angry now. He has touched a nerve. A very raw nerve.

Luke nodded his head to the positive and she raised an eyebrow at both men in the small kitchen, pivoted and slowly walked away.

"She's in a very 'last name' mood today." Han offered, throwing the rest of his caf back and opening the refrigerator.

"I can see that. Have you seen any of the reports?"

"No, not yet. We'll watch them, she just..." Han trailed off, unsure how to describe to Luke exactly how he felt about all of this.

"It was bad, wasn't it?"

"I can't see how it could have been anything _but_ bad. Giving up something like that... especially for her. I don't know." He finished lamely.

"Well, the coverage is actually really good."

"Well that's something."

"And as of ten minutes ago, no one is camped outside the building. The angle seems to be more the leadership and the Hapens."

Han snarled involuntarily. "Are they at least leaving?"

"It didn't say." Luke shrugged. They were silent for a while, both lost in thought, in the crashing implications of everything which had led up to yesterday's shocking climax. Council had done this on purpose. They all saw that. But, as Han swirled the remainder of his morning drink around the wide brimmed mug, he couldn't help but wonder. If they had been able to create that plan right under his nose, what else did they have up their sleeves?

* * *

The problem, Leia mused as she finished the rest of her toast and honey in the darkness of their small shared office, watching out the window at the morning commuter traffic zipping by, was that Luke had been right.

Or at least, almost right.

The Republic really had been her life. Han was always gone. Always. They had kept him from her. It was obvious then and it was blatantly obvious now. It hurt too, now that she knew why they had done what they did. Keeping her as the bargaining chip tucked securely up their sleeve, the council had mildly tolerated her 'affair' with Han.

She snorted angrily. Affair indeed. In the reflection of the large city, she could see the redden angry face of General Dordonna standing in front of her, spouting off about honour and duty and the safety of the galaxy and the Republic and whatever else he could think of to throw in her face. Offhandedly belittling her relationship with Han, a relationship which had continued regardless of the hurdles which were thrown in the way of it - for the last five years. One of - if not the most difficult and fundamentally important pieces of her life. Affair. Yes. That pretty well summed up the Council's opinion of her and Han. Dirty and sordid. Something to entertain for a while until a better offer come around.

She could also see Mon's white ashen countenance in the glass in front of her. "I know, Leia." She had said. Leia drew a quick breath in blinking to shatter the vision of her mentor standing to her side, feigning sympathy and understanding. Mon had never taken to Han. Never in the five years she had been with him had Mon tried to hide her dislike, her contempt even. She didn't know, nor did she care. _Lies_. Some dark small voice inside Leia's heart whispered to her. It was seductive, the soothing whispers, deep and calming. Pressing against her already frail wall of self-doubt and insecurity, begging to be released a little further... to allow herself to feel angry, betrayed even. These were colleagues. Friends. People she trusted. Comrades she had bled with.

False allies - all of them. Her chest heaved, and her mind clouded darkly.

They had _used_ her. The darkness pressed forward a fraction further, swirling in a small vortex inside her heart. Powerful and seductive. They had all _lied_.

"No." Leia said to her reflection after a moment, pressing the dark back inside herself quickly, ashamed and scared of what she had just touched. "It doesn't matter any longer. I'm free." She whispered, the words sounding too loud and far too large in the small room.

Free.

Was this how Han had always felt? This terrific sense of overwhelming freedom? It was unsettling but at the same time, oddly comforting.

She hadn't been free in... she frowned. Perhaps she had never been truly free.

For the first time, she stood at the centre of her own life.

"So, now what, Princess?" she muttered to herself.

"I could offer a few suggestions, if you like." Leia smiled and turned. He was close to her, standing an arms length away, fingers casually hooked into his pockets, sly grin on his face. She didn't reply. Content for the moment to simply watch him. She hadn't heard him approach, lost as she had been a moment ago in her own fragile future.

"Luke's gone." He finally said, words soft - as if speaking to an injured creature, which she supposed she was in a way. A small, sad creature who had just been cast out of something she loved. No, that wasn't right. Not cast out. Outmaneuvered. That was it. Her strategy had been wrong from the start. She had allowed them to look upon her and him with contempt, disdain and reticule. She had accepted their dislike and choose to live with it, instead of fighting for change. Maybe she had been tired of fighting. Maybe she had convinced herself it didn't really matter what they thought. Maybe she had tricked herself into not worrying about it.

Han had known. He had been on the receiving end of scorn for so many years. And through all of it, he had never pushed her into action on his behalf. Never was he outwardly angry or annoyed or even hurt. He was hers. And perhaps that _was_ really all that mattered.

She stared at him for a moment longer. Tracing the lines she knew so well. Han cocked his head at her slightly, gently questioning her silence.

"I don't know what to do." She whispered, as if unveiling a tremendous deep secret. The unsettling feeling of that dark lusty voice still hung heavily in her chest. Leia had thought she had come to a tentative type of truce with her heritage, with the unsavory truth of it all. Luke had a way of looking at it which she would never have - a positive wistful vision of what his life was like. It would never be that way for her. But in her own way she had managed to carve out a small acceptance for it. Now however...

"Me neither," he replied softly. It wasn't a helpful response, but at the same time Leia was relieved. It made her feel very much less alone, interrupting her downward thoughts and pulling her back to what really was important. But then, she always felt that way with him.

"It's not over, is it?" she sighed, sliding into the armless office chair, curling her legs underneath herself. Han chuckled. "You mean, do I think they'll just let you go? No. I don't. Not without a fight."

"I'm tired of fighting," sliding a hand across her neck and looking again out the large window. She was tired. Bone-tired. They both were.

"Leia." he snapped her attention back to the determination set firmly across his features. He came to crouch in front of her, taking her hands in his and squeezing firmly. "I will always fight for you. If this is what you truly want."

A lone tear slid down her cheek. Of course he would. He would always fight for her. They hadn't cared about that, about them. She wasn't important enough to her own people for them to take this moment into consideration. He squeezed her hands again. "What do you want, Leia?"

"You." She answered quickly, simply. Echoing her words from that late night on Bakura, when he stood behind her, posing the same question. She had been scared that night. Not of him. But of what they would mean to each other, of having something that couldn't be stolen away, something beyond tangible knowledge that she was loved.

He smiled then, releasing a breath she hadn't noticed he had taken, and pulled her to her feet, kissing her forehead. "Alright. First thing's first. We need a new home."


	4. Chapter Four

The news had hit. Hard.

Leia had - against her sound judgement- turned on the holovid as soon as Han had left to run a few errands.

Flipping quickly through thousands of channels, the majority of them now featuring her photo, all flattering at least, and hundreds of variations of the events of the last day. Her eyes flicked quickly across the headlines. Words ranging from "Shocking" "Impossible" "Absurd" "Imperialistic" and "Heartbreaking" jumped out at her. As she dropped into the lower stations, the reputable and less knee-jerk variety, more information seemed to leaking out. She stopped at one of her favourite stations, a local district channel reporting on lifestyle and politics, where a photo of herself and Han, laughing together as they exited the front doors of the senate building about six months ago, floated to the left of the report. The aging anchor, a kindly man always willing to be a little off the record for her in the past, grimaced while reading the report her office had officially issued earlier.

She listened, engrossed in her own drama, Luke has been right, the coverage was good. _A sad day._ That's what he was calling it. Yes, she agreed. Perhaps it was. _"Our Princess, Leia Organa of Alderaan has resigned from public office, effective immediately this morning."_ That made her smile. He had always referred to her like that. _"Unable to carry on in a government which determined to undermine her own happiness and loyalty, she has left a hole in the heart of our Republican galaxy."_

"Nice." Leia jumped and whipped her head around, the rest of the carefully crafted statement forgotten momentarily; she hadn't heard the suite's door chime. "They'll be breaking down that door tomorrow, Leia. Don't worry."

"Hello, Lando," she gave him a waning smile. "No, they won't be, and no, I'm not worried." She looked passed him, "Is Han not with you?"

"Not yet."

"Yet?" She asked switching the unit off and pushing to her feet, heading to the bar cabinet on the side wall. "Drink?"

"He was on his way back when I spoke to him an hour ago; I actually didn't expect to beat him here."

"He's likely being mobbed in the lobby. Luke had a hell of a time getting in here earlier." She held up a second glass in silent question. Lando nodded. He'd always liked that about Leia, she didn't seem to have an internal clock when it came to appropriately having a drink. Or, is she had, it was silent a good part of the time.

She poured him four fingers worth and tossed in a stone to keep it cool. Lando was easy company. A stiff drink and flirty conversation - nothing taxing or heavy. He'd get around to why he was here. She just had to let him take his time.

"Thank you. You look lovely as usual. How do you feel?"

Taking a long pull at her glass before she answered and meeting his eyes briefly over the rim, he let her see, just for a moment, how much yesterday's decision had cost her. Yes. She was happy she had done it. Finally. But at the same time - there was something heinous in suddenly leaving behind a cause you had lived, killed and almost died for.

"I'm fine." she lied.

"Glad to hear it," he nodded, playing along. " _Well_?"

Leia laughed shortly, shaking her head, " _Well_ what? Well, what's next?"

"You know me - always looking ahead." he gave her one of his classic grins, and raised his glass to her in a salute.

"Yes. I have always admired that about you." she laughed. Lando had a remarkable ability to rise above any fire and come out of it much better off than before.

"You know me, 'move or die'."

Leia nodded again and folded herself into the corner on the large sectional sofa, legs curling automatically underneath of herself; sighing quietly. "The problem is, I don't know what I _should_ do next." He moved into the living room and sat across from her on the ottoman, eyes now serious. "It's like... I'm staring at the board, but I don't know what my next move should be because I cant see any of their pieces. Dramatic, isn't it?"

"But fair."

"Perhaps. The thing is-" She looked down abruptly, feeling suddenly shy and very young, "The thing is, I did this. I sort of, pulled the rug out from underneath everyone. I didn't even talk to Han before I walked out on _everything_ we've both been working towards for the last - _what?_ \- nearly six years! I was just angry. And that was more important. I wanted to hurt _them_ and look what I've done. I've forced Han's hand, he was building a career, something he loved and enjoyed. Something he's wanted since he was a kid. I didn't think of that. I didn't think of where we would go, what we would do. We can't live here for much longer. They won't hurt themselves on us for the next month or so by casting us out; public opinion being what it is at the moment - but it'll happen. I... I don't know. I feel very stupid today. The coverage is good. So that's something. But for how long? They can't love me - us - forever. So you're right, Lando. Now what?" She finished her rant quietly; sinking further back into the cushions - defeated.

"Did you have another move?" he asked quietly, watching her carefully. Leia very rarely broken down - even a little bit. Perhaps in private, likely with Han. But that was it. He had never seen her like this. Guilty. She was always forward. A planner. Careful and confident. While he, Han and Chewie would charge into something, Leia would stake it out first. Watching and finding a weakness. A wrinkle. That was always her angle. She never stopped thinking. Planning. That was it, he thought sadly, watching her now. She hadn't planned this out. This was new. This was very un-Leia of her.

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday. What other move could you have made? If this is a game - what was your other option?"

"It's my life not a game." She snapped. Good, he almost smirked. There she was. He pointed two fingers at her, "Exactly."

Leia stared hard at him for several long seconds and exhaled deeply. "I couldn't do it anymore."

"Do what? Pretend your life was a game?"

"Not just _my_ life. But yes. I couldn't listen to it anymore. I have lost so much for this win. But they still want more from me. I suppose-" she drained her glass. "I suppose I finally realized it would never end. I would have to keep bleeding for them. They would always want _more_."

"Okay. So - what now?"

"Well," She untangled her feet and leaned forward conspiratorially. "We need a new apartment. Got any ideas?"

"Lucky for you - I always have ideas. But first," he stood and reached for her now empty glass. "How about another?"

* * *

Another two drinks later, Leia sat with an empty, heavy whiskey tumbler in one hand, the other hand pressing into her left temple, trying - unsuccessfully - to bully away a developing headache.

This was, without a doubt, the most ridiculous of days.

Lando was still talking, his speech gaining momentum as he strolled in purposeful circles around the sofa she was perched on. The sofa was awful. Uncomfortable and rented with the suite, it was white - like everything else in the apartment - and no amount of throw pillows could make sitting on it bearable. Han hated it. He was too tall for the low back and the edges of the seat cut into his legs. But, there was no where else to put it or another piece of furniture in the small space - so they very rarely sat in here.

"Okay, I give up. You win. What exactly do you want?"

Lando did another turn about the room before coming to a stop behind her.

"I have an… opportunity… which would benefit from your experience and Han's own particular brand of business sense."

"Does Han know about this 'opportunity'?"

"In a way." Evasive as ever, the business opportunist. He paced back and forth across the hard high gloss floor behind the sofa. Leia found herself wishing he would just sit down, a _nd where the kriff was Han?_

"I don't think I'm cut out to be a smuggling partner, Lando." She said dryly.

"Actually, I believe you'd be rather good at it. But that's not what I'm saying."

"You haven't really _said_ anything." Leia pointed out, pressing harder to no avail. _No good,_ she thought resigned. _Drugs it is._

As if being annoyed by his absence could summon him back to her, the front door chimed, breaking the repetitive torture of Lando's pacing and breathing life into the stagnant space once more.

"It's a mad house down there." Han grumbled, kicking his boots against the wall, adding two new marks to the already large collection. _We'll have to paint over that before we leave,"_ Leia thought absently, distracted for a moment by the aggressive black scuff pattern left behind on the white wall. A low grumble pulled her attention back and she smiled widely at the Wookie coming through the doorway, ducking his head to fit. _I hate this place_ , she thought suddenly. _It was meant to drive us apart._ The council - her peers - must have known that when they had assigned her these quarters.

Uncomfortable. That's what this apartment was meant to be. It was meant to push him out. Everything from the doorways being far too small for Chewie - to the tiny, horrible furniture. All of it.

_Gods, they must think this is what I'm like; stark, boring and uncomfortable. Why else would they put me here?_ She thought, horrified. They truly had no idea who or what she really was.

"Hey, you okay?" Leia blinked at Han's voice, close to her at the side of the sofa now, she realized she was staring hard at the small foyer where he and Chewbacca had stood only a moment ago. Chewie barked low and patted her shoulder as he lumbered by.

"Sorry, yes. I'm fine." she lied again. He didn't believe her either, the twitch at the left side of his jaw told her that. But he would play along - for now.

"Have you eaten?"

She shook her head 'no' and pressed her fingers again hard against her temple. "I'll order something in, you try to figure out what he," she jerked her head at Lando, now talking in hushed tones to Chewie facing the window, "wants."

* * *

"This wasn't half bad," Han commented, opening the cooler and tossing the leftovers onto an empty shelf.

"Right? I discovered it a few weeks ago. I've become a serial customer." Leia closed the drawer on the dishwashing unit and leaned back against the counter. "And, they deliver. Bonus. Although they never have been that quick at the door before."

"Chewie has that effect on delivery guys. They don't especially want to hang around and chat him up."

"It's far more efficient." Leia agreed, smirking. "So, what do you think of Lando's suggestion?"

They had been alone for about an hour, and the air hung heavy with options neither one of them wanted to add their voice to first. Chewie had left when Lando did, giving Han a pointed 'she's not okay and you need to talk to her' look which hadn't escaped Leia's attention. That look had been tossed around a lot over the time she had known them both. It hadn't taken her long to figure out what it meant. She had seen it nearly every day after the destruction of Alderaan and the Yavin battle - not that Han had really known what to do or how to help her and they generally just ended up angry and hostile after he tried - but over the years he had gotten better at it; and for the last while, just seeing it seemed to make things a little bit brighter.

His posture changed, subtly. The grip he had on the cooler handle altered, shoulders pulled back a fraction, and the half shift of his weight sealed it. He was unsure and it made the both uncomfortable.

"Talk to me, please." she probed tentatively.

"I don't know what to do." He replied softly, his back to her, staring into the nearly empty cooler.

_Oh no._ "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure."

"Oh?" Her heart rate spiked and seemed to be trying to beat right out of her chest. _Oh no. Oh no._

"His… proposal isn't unappealing. But, my concern is you." He turned carefully, shutting the door as he did.

"Me?" Relief flooded her, and she sagged slightly against the solid countertop. They had to get out of this place; it was making her crazy. Insecurities, usually neatly tucked away and locked down, seemed to be forever rearing their ugliness here. He was always gone, _they had always made sure of that_ \- the dark, vicious part of her soul whispered taunts of loneliness. _Someday_ , it would hiss during sleepless lonely nights, _someday, he won't come back for you._ Leia secretly feared that darkness; knew what it was and all at once had no idea what to do with it. _You're right to be afraid. How long can you keep this all in line? What happens when he sees you. Through you. What then? Where will you turn? Who will answer you?_ The cloud washed over her again. Frightening and powerful - yet so small at first she couldn't find the source of it. Shut it down, force it out. That had worked in the past. _Enough_! She screamed at the darkness. It hissed again in annoyance; expanded like a bubble inside her heart then, as quickly as it came, receded into nothing once more.

"Would you be happy?"

"Yes." She answered quickly and he smiled, eyes crinkling slightly in worry.

"It's a hard life, Sweetheart. Always moving. You have a routine here, you have a life here. What he's suggesting, what he wants from us, it's not for everyone. Not that we would be at all locked down to it," he added hurriedly, warily. " But... it's not like having a _home_. I'm used to it, it's really all I've known. But..." He paused, looking down at his hands. This was a huge choice. There would be no easy return after this. To throw in the towel and go mercenary - for lack of a better title - was hardly something he had ever visioned for her. She needed a change, yes. A fresh start. But this? How could he bear watching her shrink. She overpowered everything about him, but would he - could he - be enough to keep her grounded - thousands of light-years away from the centre of everything she had bled for? That was a tall order. Not that he wasn't up to it... But... There was always a 'but'.

"Well, for starters, I haven't had a real 'home' since I was 17. I've only ever had you." She let the statement settle for a moment, filling the uneasy, unsure space between them, watched his eyes calm and the thoughts behind them quiet. "Secondly," she continued quietly, stepping towards him slowly, "I can think of worse ways to spend my life. It all sounds wonderful - doesn't it? You and me. Alone. The whole galaxy could be ours. Setting our own schedule. Our own rules." She tweaked an eyebrow slightly at him. He _hated_ rules, mainly on principal - and usually did whatever he could to skirt them. He sat beside her in meetings, when rank and hierarchy dictated he take a place with the other military advisers across the table, offering quiet commentary of smart-ass remarks which made her smile despite herself. He was forever showing up at her office unannounced, keeping her to himself for unaccounted hours in the middle of the day. Kissing her in the hallways of the senate without care for who was around. No wonder they wanted him out of her picture. Better to see her with some stuck up puppet than a smart-ass, shoot-first spacer turned hero. Better for them at least.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" he whispered, voice cracking, smile tugging at the side of his mouth; distracting her from her thoughts. She took another step towards him.

"Maybe." She breathed, now only a hand-span away from him.

"It's working."

"I know. It always does."

He pulled her to him suddenly, holding her hard against the length of him, one arm wrapped low around her waist, the other hand wound at the base of her scalp, tugging gently - pulling her face to meet his.

"Do you want me to take you here?" He whispered darkly against her neck, nipping at her ear. She swallowed hard and gripped his arms.

"Yes."

"On the galley floor?"

"Yes," she breathed shallowly.

"In the middle of the day?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

She swallowed, "yes."

"A nice girl like you." His hands had found their way underneath the hem of her shirt, it was distracting.

"What?" she blinked her eyes open, staring into his.

"Are you sure, Leia?" His mouth stopped a fraction away from hers, his breath was hot and short on her face. She didn't know what they were talking about anymore. She nodded and he kissed her.


	5. Chapter Five

Leia sighed and propped her chin up on Han's chest.

"This is far more comfortable than I expected," she mused.

"It's not bad." he agreed, eyes still closed. "Better than the forward hold on the _Falcon,_ that's for damn sure. My knees ached for days after that."

"Well, grated steel decking isn't exactly built for comfort." she smiled, before adding "that was fun though."

"Completely worth it."

"Not to ruin the moment-" Leia said after another moment of contented silence, pushing up slightly so she could see his face more clearly.

"But you're going to."

"I suppose I am." She paused for a split second. "Have you decided what you're going to do."

"You mean, do I want to continue chasing after random warlords for months at a time while I leave you - where? On Kashyyyk with Malla? - so you can wait for me to hopefully come back? Do all of that so you and I can have - by contract - two weeks together before they ship me off somewhere else?"

"...yes?"

"No."

"'No' you haven't thought about it? Or 'no' you've decided you don't want to do that anymore?"

"Leia," He sat up, forcing her to do the same so they ended up sitting nose to nose. "I did it for you."

"Not all for me-"

"Yes. All of it. All for you."

"Oh."

"So, to answer your question: yes. I have thought about it. I have thought about every _single_ day for the last 5 years. I want us. That's all. I don't give a damn about the rest. But you do, and I love you," he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "So before we move on this, before we call them out, we need to draw a solid plan. This won't end today, Leia. Or tomorrow."

"But I resigned."

"I know. But I haven't." She looked down and he continued, voice softer. "All I'm saying is; this could end up being messy. Especially with the Hapens involved - we embarrassed them - all of them. They all thought you would cave and I would run. We proved them wrong, they won't like that. And I doubt they will let us walk out of here with a friendly smile and a 'Thanks for all the hard work and bloodshed - have a nice life'."

"True. When?"

"It has to be today. We can't wait any longer."

Leia sprang up and pulled her sweater over her head, "Okay, Flyboy. Let's move."

* * *

"I'm coming with you."

Han sighed. While he actually selfishly wanted her there, he didn't think it was the best idea. He did, however, make the rookie mistake of telling her that and had been trying - unsuccessfully to get her to come around on the notion for the last hour.

"This might not be pretty, Sweetheart. You don't have to go back there." Han watched her fight with her soft travel boots while neatly hopping over the piles of clothing and other personal items they had quickly thrown together. "They've been waiting for a chance to cut me down for years." Ackbar might not be so bad - but Madine, Mothma or worse - that waste of skin, Fey'lya. He didn't want Leia there, fresh from her fight with them yesterday, to watch them rip him apart. Gods knew what they would hurl at him. They would try to have him leave without her. Bully her or perhaps even try to buy him off. The whole thing made his skin crawl, becuase without him, Leia would likely go back to them, and - by extension - accept the Hapen offer. He knew all of that going in. But he had a hard cynical side that Leia didn't, and he loved that about her. Soft-hearted and fragile - but only to half a dozen people who she had let in.

"I highly doubt they are going to 'cut you down'. But yes, I am coming with you." She punctuated each word precisely, as if proper grammar made her completely correct. But then, Han sighed and he watched her chin go up slightly, there was probably not going to be any arguing with her - and what good would that do anyway. "Besides, I can always sit dejected outside the boardroom and look pathetic for a photo-op if they deny me access - which they won't."

"Hardly your style."

"Correction. It never used to be my style. I'm new and improved Leia. Spacer-Leia. Mercenary-Leia. Gods know what _she's_ capably of." She was teasing him, but she was also calling his bluff. He really did want her there beside him. Not tucked away alone and worried for what would likely take hours.

"You're funny." he replied dryly, side-stepping the Spacer-Mercenary comment - she may end up not being too far from the mark.

"I'm coming with you." She stood, finally dressed in front of him, and he knew, with that look in her eyes, there was no arguing. _Fine_. Together.

"You look ready for war." He murmured, standing from the bed and meeting her at the bedroom door.

"Good. I am."

* * *

"Leia." The surprised face of Mon Mothma met them as they rounded the corner outside the large boardroom. Leia said nothing, only watched the older woman with narrowed calculated eyes.

"General Solo." Mon turned her head slightly to acknowledge Han's presence, face stoic, eyes shifting carefully between him and Leia, taking in her causal appearance. Leia's hair - while still braided as was customary - now instead of being pinned up, hung loosely, almost, wantonly in one thick plait down the middle of her back. She stood in this place, for the first time since the Liberation ground mission, dressed ready for combat in dark green leggings, black flat leather boots which hugged her calves and a tight fitting black tunic. She looked small. Compact.

 _Clever, really,_ Mon thought taking stock of the two people standing in front of her. Han was dressed just as simply, red Bloodstripes blazing down his black trousers, white dress-shirt open one button too many to be appropriate - _as usual_ , she noted, annoyed - and a black leather jacket finishing the look. He towered over Leia's petite 5 foot stature, menacing and protective; blaster strapped to his thigh.

 _Well played._ The media, who had been camped out in front of the senate foyer for the last two days, would love this. She had to concede, they made a handsome couple. _An inappropriate and ridiculous couple_ , Mon hissed to herself, but; still attractive none-the-less.

"Mon." Leia replied, waiting for her would-be-use-to-be friend and mentor, to come to whatever conclusion she wanted.

They were powerful, Leia had made sure of that. Dressed this way, striding carefully through the halls she used to hurry down daily. She matched Han's causal walk as best she could. The walk that use to infuriate her. Like the easy way he handled expensive glassware, or ordered a drink at a fancy bar - as if he alone owned the world and it rotated and existed to suit his every need. She had hated and loved that about him from the first time she witnessed it. Years ago now, on an outer rim world, he has sat back in the bar of the best hotel on the planet, twirling a crystal cut tumbler with little care between his fingers. It had annoyed her; his air of disinterestedness. But she also envied it. She could never been that relaxed. That free.

He had proven that wrong though. Over the years, he had rubbed off on her. Taught her. And she thrived.

So now, here she stood. Ready and unhurried. Gazing at the woman who tried to sell her off not 30 standard hours ago. _Casual_. Leia reminded herself. _Calm and casual._

"Can I help you two find someone?"

"No. Thank you." Han drifted a hand to the low sway on Leia's back, moving her forward but not controlling her. They had perfected that as well over the years. That tricky social dance of balanced sexual power. The issue of appearing together, equally, without diminishing either's position.

"I really should insist that I escort you - this is highly irregular. I don't approve." Mon said, flustered.

"Well, don't then." Leia replied, a little more snippy than she intended. It didn't matter, after a moment of stunned silence, Mon Mothma fell into step behind them as they traveled into the large back offices - heading straight for Admiral Ackbar's circular office.

Leia breathed in, lightly touching the space around her as Luke had taught her to do. She could hear him in her head - a nice change from the angst and rage which had taken up residence with her soul over the last two days. _'Feel them out, Leia. Know what they are feeling before they do. Anticipate action. You'll always be one step ahead of them.'_ Well. No. Leia argued with her brother's voice. It wasn't entirely as easy as all that.

* * *

"Leia, my dear. Do you mind giving us a moment?" She didn't answer the large Mon Calamari male in front of her, glancing at Han instead, watching for the small tug at the corner of his month. His tell. Nothing. She nodded and slipped passed him, lightly touching the broad plain of his back as she went.

The door slipped closed quietly behind her and she was left momentarily adrift. Lighting touching back into the room, feeling Han, unhurried and steady, sitting before the large Mon Cal Admiral, Admiral Drayson, General Madine and General Rieekan. They were clearly waiting for a few more members, Han was right - this was going to take hours.

She stood unsure of how exactly to act. Royal manners screamed at her to simple sit and wait. But she had had enough of her 'royal manners' this week, she was too angry for that anyway. Anger was better, she decided and took up a slightly defensive stance to the left of the office entrance. She didn't know what else they might have in reserve, but she was prepared to fight her way out if need be.

* * *

Her feet ached. Tension radiated from her. Aides had approached her, familiar faces - even a few friends - and has asked her if she required anything. She would smile and shake her head. She just wanted to go home.

The room on the other side of the door was quiet. _Was that good?_ Surely if no shouting had started and no shots been fired - things were progressing better than Han had predicted.

A shadow moved in front of her.

"Leia. Good afternoon." She didn't trust her voice, so she smiled tightly and nodded.

"I didn't expect to you, again, so soon." Leia tightened her posture, the dark cloud bloomed again in her chest, small, but _there._

"Well," she cleared her throat quietly, "Lucky you." She smiled sweetly. Borsk Fey'lya had never liked her. And he outright _hated_ Han. That wasn't going to change today, she decided. No matter how this all played out.

"General Solo is with the Admiral and other members of the military council at the moment, an _unscheduled_ visit." Mon's voice came from Leia's left, placing emphasis on 'unscheduled' - as if Han should have known to book an appointment to resign his commission today. They must have been expecting it - either way.

"Ah, yes. Good, we're right on time then. Please excuse us, Princess," he snarled her title at her with a slightly curled lip. "But we have important issues to table."

_We?_

And suddenly, there he was.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Princess. You look... lovely."

"Isolder," she nodded politely. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ "Thank you."

"I had hope of running in to you once more before our departure."

"You're leaving? Now?"

"Oh," he let out a controlled laugh, a fake nice laugh, it made her skin crawl - darkness creeping slightly forward, fingers itching for... something. "No, not yet. There are still a few, small matters to attend to." And with that, Borsk moved passed her and triggered the office door open. Leia caught sight of Han, facing the large window, thumbs looped into the pockets of his trousers. _Casual_. She had forgotten - out of practice and still far too raw. His head turned at the movement and he caught her eye, her face white; eyes wide. Then the two men pushed passed her and the door snapped closed.

* * *

There was yelling after all.

It hadn't taken long, and it made her even more nervous. _What if?_ She wasn't entirely sure what she was worried about - everything? - but she had started pacing when they started shouting.

One standard quarter-hour later, the door hissed open again. She spun around as two men she didn't recognize came out, tailing an angry Hapen prince. The two men continued walking down the long hall - aides most likely, off to gossip about the drama which they had just been privy to - but Isolder stopped less then ten paces from her.

He was slightly taller than Han, and although they were both broad, well built; Han's physique was work earned and hard. Isolder's - while impressive - was privileged, gym derived. It wasn't the same. Leia quickly glimpsed Han and Carlist near the door, Han defensive and angry. Carlist calm and collected. The rest of the council were still all seated, all irritated. The door shut again.

One deep breath and suddenly he was upon her. Launching himself at her, angry and red-faced.

"You're a fool. This is the path you choose?" He bellowed, towering above her.

Leia thought, hoped, that his royal training would rein in any outstanding misplaced rejection. But, standing there, looming over her, intimidating - she quickly decided it would not.

Size had never scared her, but his anger was shocking. She didn't know him - didn't owe him anything. It was hugely misplaced.

"Of course." She refused to be scared. This was her choice, a choice she should have made years ago when Han first suggested it. they should have done it, left one night on board the _Falcon_ , left and never looked back. But here they were - better late than never.

"You could have had anything! Anything! Jewels, palaces, status, power. Anything!" He stepped closer to her a grabbed her quite suddenly, hard and angry around the tops of her shoulders. She gasped. Fright starting to seep through.

"That's not enough for me." She answered calmly.

"You would rather be his whore?" He was yelling now, inches from her face. "Trailing around after that space-rat? You disgust me." He shook her once, and she tried to shove him away from her. He wouldn't budge. "Debasing yourself with someone like him. You know, you really aren't any better than a common port-slut." With that, he threw her back, she fell half a step and let the cloud wrap around her, masking her fright. His anger fed into her, swirling around inside her heart. Bold and slightly terrifying. She was about to respond, but all at once, three things happened:

She hadn't heard the office suite's door open.

Two large, familiar hands settled quickly on her shoulders, moving her aside.

And quite suddenly, she was looking down at the surprised, bloodied face of the Hapan Prince, belatedly raising his arms up to block the fresh assault levied at him by he owner of those two, strong hands.

Leia watched, rooted to the spot, unable to do anything more than watch the drama unfolding in front of her.

* * *

Han hissed as she gently pressed the cold compress to his right eyebrow.

It wasn't bad, a grazing blow at best, but punctuated by a ring or perhaps a loose fastening on a jacket, it was hard to say for sure.

She had been silent as they were escorted out of the Senate building, giving a small sideways smile to the reporters and holo-drones as they went by. She had stayed silent through the entire taxi-ride back to their apartment. And had yet to say anything still, as she held the soft wet bundle to the side of his face. Han set his jaw stubbornly. He wasn't going to apologize for that, he regretted not killing the bastard. Port-slut. He balled his fists again, the skin on them slightly agitated. It had been years since he was in a good fight.

"Thank you." She murmured quietly. Han's good left eye opened, surprised, lost in his own head. Usually, fighting was one of Leia's strict no-no's. "For getting us thrown out? Nah, you don't need to. I'm good at that."

She smiled at his attempt to lighten the situation. The afternoon had disintegrated very quickly after Han had landed a good dozen blows. Security called and words exchanged. It was heated and surreal. No one had ever physically _fought_ for her before, not in the lower-level, back-alley brawl kind of way Han had just done.

"For defending me. Thank you."

He didn't say anything, he simply reached out and traced her cheekbone softly.

"I've never had anyone actually fight for my honour before." She teased lightly, leaning into his touch.

"Well, not right in front of you, you haven't." He corrected. Leia tilted her head at him, questioning. "I have been fighting for you for years, Leia. I'll never stop." This was news. She never expected or even considered that to be a possibility. Of course he had hated the backstabbing and underhanded comments leveled at her - and himself - but actually coming to blows over it? No, she hadn't considered that.

"But, on the brightside," he pulled the compress away and tossed it on the side table where it made a distinctive slopping sound. "I did manage to resign before they tossed us out. That's gotta count for somethin'."

* * *

His head pounded, hammering in time with his heart - which had, thankfully, calmed down substantially since the afternoon. Every single muscle ached. But he that didn't mind; it was a satisfying, deep muscle, just-knocked-some-asshole's-teeth-out kind of ache.

He had volunteered to take the first load to the Falcon. Mainly so Leia didn't have to face the scads of reporters - but he also needed an excuse to be alone for a while; re-group and at least try to come down from the anger-high he had been riding for the last two hours.

Bruising had bloomed across her white shoulders, and while not deep - they would be healed and gone by the end of tomorrow - the sight of them made him want to start a war. How dare he touch her - much less hurt her.

Han seethed, teeth grinding together. Leia had rubbed bacta on the marks as soon as they got home, brushing it off in hopes of cooling him off sooner. It hadn't worked. His fist balled tightly again. The physical marks would heal, she was right - but the verbal attack on her would linger. The vile words that pathetic excuse for a man had angrily spewed at her would dance across her mind without warning. She would hear them hissed at her in meetings, they would claw at her brain while he made love to her. Those kind of scars took the longest to heal. She had far too many of those scars as it was.

Vader still haunted her nights, sending her curling tightly up around him; huddled against the pain and terror that monster had inflicted onto her. He had woken her up from enough painful heart wrenching night-terrors to know the threats leveled against her during her incarceration. All manner of horrible futures were thrown at her. Death, work-camp slavery, lobotomization, forced containment at one of the low level pleasure camps strewn across the Imperial sector, disfigurement, isolation. The list was horrific and endless.

The humiliation she suffered at the hands of Jabba and his court had hurt her too. The kriffing sack of slime had marked up her neck with that fucking collar - the bruises had lasted for days.

And now this. All personal types of pain.

At least, this time it wasn't exactly his fault - not like the incident with Jabba had been. This time he had somewhere to direct his raging anger, somewhere besides himself and Lando.

The apartment foyer had been a zoo. A maze of faces and species all asking the same questions "Can you tell us what happened between you and the Hapen Prince?!" "Where's the Princess?" "General Solo! Did you resign?" "What are you going to do now?" All the same. He gave a tight smile and pushed his way through.

Closing and securing the hatch, he dumped the bags in the crew cabin and stalked off to the cockpit. He had - without knowing it - always taken the Falcon for granted. She was an escape. Something Leia hadn't ever had. Freedom.

He ran his right hand over the controls while studying it critically. The skin was broken in small tiny rips from the action he had caused this afternoon. It didn't matter, it didn't bother him.

Isolder was feeling a hell of a lot worse - and that's all that mattered.

His fist curled inadvertently. No. That wasn't true. That wasn't all that mattered. It had been a snap decision, one he didn't remember making. Raised tones from outside the meeting room had caught his attention. A one-sided fight.

'Whore'

That single word stopped the chatter in the large meeting and made him had reached the door in three long strides. Han's blood sang through his veins. Angry. The prince's hands were on her, hard and crushing before throwing her away like common garbage.

'Port-slut'

His brain had stopped working after that. Solely focused.

He flex his hand again in memory and without thinking punched a code into the comm-system.

"Hello again," the amused voice of Luke came over the comm.

"Never a dull moment." Han agreed, focused on clenching his fist.

"I hear you ran into Isolder..."

"I did."

"Quite a few times." Luke chuckled quietly.

"You could say that." Han finally smiled, the Kid always seemed to have a way of making him feel better.

"Good."

"I should have ripped him apart with my bare hands. Bastard."

"Han-" han rolled his eyes. Yes yes, violence is of the darkside, blah blah blah.

"Has this happened before?"

"What? Having the Council try to sell her off? I don't think so, not for a while at least."

"No, I mean, has anyone ever attacked her like that - because of me - before."

"Han, you should be asking Leia about this-"

"Well, I'm not. I'm asking you."

"I know that it hasn't always been easy for her. She's fought very hard for you, and they don't always like it..."

"Right."

"Look, she wouldn't have wanted you to know, if she's never said anything before..." Luke trailed off.

"I know." He leaned back and kicked his feet up on the controls. She wouldn't. Luke was right. She would much rather swallow the insults down and lock them away, instead of sharing them and hurting him with them. She was always far too protective of him. He had heard the insults - some of them anyway - over the years. Most of them before they were together, when people still felt safe to hurt her around him. His jaw tightened. the Ice-Princess. That was a classic favourite. Cold and hard. That's how everyone thought of her then. Now, the common opinion seemed to be that instead of a born leader, a tough fighter and an all-round amazing human being, people saw her relationship with him and tagged her as a naive young girl. That may have been worse. The, of course, there was the damage he had inflicted before he allowed himself to think of someone other than his own ego. He had hurled his own brand of verbal artillery at her as well. Always pushing. Forever testing her, fighting. Always keeping her on edge, only after did he know that his fight for her was really just worried over what would happen to her if she suddenly stopped fighting back.

Han let out a sigh and signed off with Luke. His brain wouldn't shut off. Leia hadn't seemed all that upset by the insults, at least, not entirely surprised by them. Had this been going on without him knowing. Had they started to hurt her because of him?

* * *

The cockpit door slide open, startling him. He spun around to find the calm, quiet face of Leia in the entrance. Lost in his own thoughts as he had been, he hadn't noticed the hatch light blinking on the console, hadn't hear this his of the ramp lowering or her soft footsteps down the hall.

"You've been gone a long time," she said quietly, settling herself between his legs, leaning slightly back on the console.

"Have I?" He took her hand, running his thumb lightly over her knuckles. She hummed in agreement and sighed. They stayed like that for a long while, just being.

"When can we leave?" She broke the silence, eyes closed.

"Now."

"Really?" sitting up moved closer to him, he pulled her slowly, fluidly onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her.

"Sure - we're packed. Just a few more loads down and..." he let the sentence hang in front of them. "Are you ready to leave?" He asked when she hadn't replied.

"Sure."

"Now?"

That made her smile. "Well, no - I still have my hair-dryer at the apartment and I need to say goodbye to Winter properly before we go. But after that, yes. Very, very ready. I can't wait to never come here again."

"How long have you lived here?" he asked suddenly.

"All together? Five years, give or take. Why?"

"And in all that time, how much of the city have you actually seen?"

She raised her eyebrows and gestured limply around the hanger in front of them.

"Exactly." Han sighed.

"I've been busy in case you haven't noticed!"

"Oh I noticed."

She said nothing, only turned to look at him sideways.

"Okay, so before we blast off here and never come back - I think you should actually experience Coruscant a little."

She made a face and leaned away from him, the hanger was emptying for the day, mechanics, porters and pilots all filtering out for the night, heading home to children, spouses, parents and friends. Each with somewhere more important to be than the long-term hanger of the New Republic navy. Everyone except the two of them.

"Experience what?" she finally asked, voice small in the quiet space.

"Exactly. You've never gone skiing at the poles, you probably haven't gone down more than a couple levels, or eaten interplanetary street-food on the curb watching buskers. You've never seen the city, never loosened up a enough to enjoy it."

"That's not fair! I went with you down - what was that, eleven levels! - to that jazz club for drinks and then we went dancing. We had fun!"

"Once. We did that once."

"You're never here either," she said, a tad more defensively than she intended.

"You hate this planet."

"What exactly are you getting at."

"There's so much life here. You've only ever seen the inside of the senate, our horrible apartment, a few ballrooms - which all look the same anyway - this hanger and a landing pad or two. That's no way to live. You can't hate something you've actually never truly experienced."

"Not true - you can."

"Leia-"

"You're never here." She repeated quietly. "I'm always by myself."

"I'm here now, and I'm not leaving you by yourself again."

"So what are you saying? You want to go out?"

"Ya," he gently traced the curve of her neck. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

* * *

The bar he had in mind was several levels below her comfort level. Damp and thick with the smell of fake sunlight and too many beings living in the same space, there was a wonderful freedom of not being important down here - they were simply a couple out for the night. Leia stood tall beside him, thin heels bringing her up a good six inches, a close fitting short black dress, her hair done up in a dramatically messy bun on the nape of her neck. She had hand tucked brazenly into his back pocket riding the lift down, and just when Han was rethinking his whole 'going out for the night' plan, they had arrived at their district.

Smoke swam in the doorway, curling and dancing with the slight air currents which still somehow made it down this far.

"Reminds me of the Rim," Leia remarked quietly as she watched Han survey the scene in front of them. "Anonymity, booze, dancing and a dress which would make my aunts faint."

Han laughed at that, yes -it was very much like the Rim worlds. Too many beings, too loud of music and freely flowing bar. He'd always like those assignments, they had always snuck off at least once to enjoy themselves, and she always wore something like the dress she was currently clad in. Something indecently short, tight and un-Princess like.

"Is it just you and me?" she asked, watching his eyes roam the room, looking for a quiet darkened corner to tuck her into.

"That's the plan." he replied, sliding his hand very low on her back and ushering her forward to the back of the room. She slide easily into the booth, han followed her, flagging a serving droid down and ordering two whiskeys.

"Good." she nipped his ear, startling him. He caught her lightly at the side of her neck, she tilted her head slightly as he ran a thumb down her throat. "Naughty." He murmured, loving the way her eyes sharpened at those words. "I'll haul you right back to the Falcon if you do that again. And, I have plans."

"Do they end with us at the Falcon?" she whispered again, deliberately catching the eye of the serving girl who stopped to drop off their drinks on the table, she smiled slightly when the young girl turned away quickly embarrassing for being caught lingering on Han for a moment too long.

"Sweetheart, all of my plans end up with us on the Falcon," he winked at her and kissed her slowly before pulling back a notch to look at her. "Hungry?"

* * *

Dinner arrived without ceremony, but it was delicious. Another two drinks down and she was having a lovely time, the day's earlier events forgotten - or at least tucked away into the background for the time being.

"Lando called in while you were at the hanger, did he get a hold of you?" Leia asked between bites.

"No. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"I have a few concerns, I was thinking about it this afternoon."

"So do I. What are yours?"

"We don't know anything about Karrde. I don't relish the idea of becoming involved in the next Black Sun operative." Leia quietly stated, keeping her voice low but not whispering, whispering was the best way to ensure an audience.

Well, I've known Lando a long time. He's not stupid. And he's not reckless either. He's a businessman."

"Do you trust him." She asked, dark makeup accentuated her already delicate appearance, exaggerating the whites of her already wide eyes.

Han stopped short, mid-chew, and turned fully to face her. Did he trust Lando? Had anyone else asked him that question,his first instinct would have been to immediately brush it off with a casual gesture - of course he did. But he looked at the woman sitting beside him, the same woman who had asked him the same question nearly six years ago. They hadn't really had a choice then - stranded as they were. With no other option, they had limped to whatever port was closest, in in that decision - he had sealed fate for both of them. But, here they were again.

"I trust him with myself. I don't really trust anyone with you." he replied quietly, serious. She smiled softly at that, she half expected his answer. Han had only ever truly trusted her safety to himself or Chewie. It was endearing. But that didn't answer her burning question.

"I trust you." She whispered.

"I love you."

"I want to go home."

"No dancing?" he smirked.

"No. Home. Now."

He held her eyes. Dancing be damned, he grasped her hand and pulled her to him, kissed her neck and slid with her out of the booth, tossing credits to the server as they passed.

They fell into the lift, commandeering a corner as he pressed her hard up against the shabby metal interior. His hands gathered her hair, holding her mouth to his. Her hands wandered up and down his frame, feeling her way across him.

The door pinged and his pressed his forehead to hers.

"Leia." he breathed reverently, his mouth finding her once more. She pushed against him, hands firmly on his chest.

"Come on, Hot Shot. Get me home."

* * *

Clothes were still scattered across the main hold, when Lando stopped by the Falcon mid-morning the next day. The conversation had been going fairly well, that was until the first set of contacts were handed over.

"Are you spiced!? We're not doing that!" Leia stabbed an angry finger at the screen.

"Leia hang on a second-"

"NO! You hang on a second! You really think that after what happened to the both of us the LAST time we ended up in Hutt company that we would consider going there?"

"It won't be like that." Lando assured her.

"No."

"Trust me."

"No. Not with this."

"Can I talk you alone for a moment?" Lando turned to Han, exasperated.

"Talk all you want - the answer is still no." She pointed at their visitor, stood, quirked a brow and stepped over the dress which lay on the floor by their feet. Some women, Han mused, might have found it difficult to be snippy and commanding while her clothes from last night still lay strewn across the living space. But not Leia. Standing dwarfed by a pair of his old sleep pants and a tight camisole, she was a force to be reckoned with.

"Feisty." Lando said under his breath when Leia disappeared down the hallway.

"Very. But she's right."

"Hey-"

"You heard her. No."

"You two would be perfect for this."

"Maybe, but I'm not risking her."

Lando sighed and shook his head.

"What?" Han leaned back and kicked his feet up onto the seat beside him.

"You don't think the rest of what you're both doing isn't risky? I'm surprised they haven't tried to off you yet. Hapens are a nasty crowd."

"Honestly? So am I. We need to get off this rock, and fast. But I'm not trading one headache for another. If you want us to help you set up a network, that's great - we can do that all day long. But…"

"Yeah, alright. I'll look at and get back to you. How long are you planetside?" Lando stood and Han walked him to the ramp, leaning one arm out against the bulkhead.

"End of the month at the latest."

"I'm still having that party tomorrow night. You two should come."

"We'll be there."

"Good." Lando started down the ramp and turned swiftly. "Han!"

"Yeah?"

"I wouldn't risk her either, Buddy. I'll think so something."

Han nodded and his friend smiled. Maybe Lando wouldn't, but that wasn't something Han was prepared to trust either.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I can't decide if I hate Mon Mothma, let's see what she has to say for herself, shall we?

"This, I was not expecting."

If the media had been hungry for the princess and the ex-smuggler before, they were nothing short of ravenous now.

In the span of two days, public interest had spiked to an all-time unprecedented high. Photos of the pair now littered the media waves in hundreds of languages across thousands of networks. Viewer submitted pictures, public event captures, private shots of the pair together with friends and family - Gods knew how those had leaked. They were everywhere.

Her companion nodded mutely in agreement, standing before the main holo projector on the presidential floor of the senate building.

"She looks like a common prostitute." He hissed, fist connecting with the console, freezing the image of Leia on the holoscreen - or rather a series of images taken two nights ago by a surveillance camera far too many levels down to be considered socially acceptable. It featured the princess, clad in a tight, short dress, being pushed hungrily up against the back of the lift, Solo's body pressed tight against hers - his hands wound in her hair. The photos were powerful and seductive; voyeuristic in character. They were something Mon was certain Leia should be ashamed of but was also equally certain she wouldn't be. Not anymore. Public opinion had stayed overwhelmingly on the lovers side - and if this building hysteria was anything to go off of, it was guaranteed to stay there for quite some time.

Thankfully, the news had stayed fairly light on the Hapen end, the less focus there was on that, the better. They were still 'negotiating' with the Cluster, but everyone on Council had to admit the unpleasantness between the Hapen Prince and the galaxy's favourite power couple had soured the potential deal considerably. The altercation itself hadn't been leaked yet - but one look at Isolder's face and everyone would be able to guess at what had happened.

Leia's office had issued one statement the day of her departure. Solo had publicly said nothing. Normally, Mon sighed to herself, interest would die off quickly, but it seemed the opposite to be true in this case. No news seemed to ignite more news.

"They certainly do love her," she watched the numerous smiling candid photos slide across the screen. "Them." She corrected herself.

Madine made a noncommittal noise.

"She looks happy." Mon whispered, almost to herself.

Madine turned to her, shocked.

"Happy?" He repeated, "You think that is happy? Behaving that way with him? Exposing herself to all of this." He waved an angry hand at the frozen image. "He will leave her. A man like Solo cannot be pegged down. This will all blow over - I give it three months. And then what? Her reputation will not survive this charade. She'll be ruined."

"She's so young, I forget sometimes."

"She's impressionable and he's," Madine had an exasperated gesture with his hand. "We tolerated this dalliance with Solo as best we could, a wartime romance which has - I think we can all agree - run it's course."

Mon nodded, still watching the images in front of her, the young, happy, carefree couple

"I will not deny that he has been… helpful to us. He's a natural leader, a good military mind. Reckless and brave - good qualities in a soldier. Not, however, suited to be the consort a high ranking senatorial candidate - much less the last of a noble, old Royal House. Her father - her entire family - would not approve." Madine contunied.

"Leia was right, Crix." She interrupted. "Bail would have only ever wanted her to be happy. He loved her and," she paused gently unfreezing the screen in front of them again, eyes tracing the smile on the young princess's face - taken the last time Solo was back on leave - her head tilted towards him. Eyes shining. "It's true. She doesn't have a family anymore. Not a traditional one. She has General - Captain - Solo," She corrected herself quickly, sensing her companion stiffen beside her at the incorrect title. " and Luke. That's her family." Mon turned toward General Madine, watched him stare daggers at the newscast for another moment before continuing quietly. "I don't know anymore. Maybe we were wrong. Maybe this is what's best for her. In any case, we've lost them both. This isn't our concern anymore." Truth was, Mon felt horrid. Blinded as she was to _'what was best_ ' for everyone, she had been willing to toss away and trample on what might actually be best for her young friend.

"This is not the first time he has come between us and what is best for her. There has to be a way to separate them, make her see sense. Make him realize what this will cost her."

"Do you truly believe it's worth it, to attempt to separate them, after all of this?"

"Do you not?"

"He loves her, Crix. It's done."

"Is it." It wasn't a question, yet it hung, suspended between them as they turned their attention back to the screen.

* * *

"I haven't been to a party like that in..." Leia sat curled up on one of Lando's large kitchen chairs, cradling a cup of caf between her hands. "Well, actually... I don't think I've ever been to a party like that."

"The Liberation was quite the party." Han leaned back against the counter, relishing in the look of her relaxed for the first time in days, dressed comfortably in his old sweatshirt - one she had taken possession of years ago, before they were together - and a pair of light leggings. She looked so young. He often forgot just how young she was. Luke had always been young, idealistic. Leia was different. Determined, stubborn and guarded. She had carefully constructed barriers which wrapped and tangled around herself. Permanent and opposing, they had been there, taunting him for years until he finally managed to figure out how to unwind them. Leia had rules she lived by and expected other to do the same - even now. Luke didn't. He had a fresh-faced, hopeful, happy way of looking at life. Leia's walls protected her.

Han had always know that they were the same age. But Luke was, and likely always would be, a kid compared to his sister.

Leia had never been a 'kid'. And for that, Han was entirely grateful.

Lando's party had in fact been a great one; loud and crowded enough to be intimate. A few old friends he had lost touch with over the years he had been with the Rebellion, it had all seemed slightly surreal to tuck Leia under his arm and mingle. She fit as though she was designed to belong there. No carefully detailed approach to the evening. Just them. It was refreshing. Leia, for her part, had felt a slab of guilt at the beginning of the night, from her happy vantage point tucked in beside Han, these were friends of his - good friends - which he had given up for her and her life. She had unknowingly pulled him away from people he had cared about. The feeling had subsided halfway through the night as she mingled with him, working the crowd. It had been nice, she smiled into her glass as she watched him watch her, to simply be 'Leia'. She could get use to it - and by the look of things, she might be able to.

"And as I remember - you had quite the time." he smirked at her. _Yes, yes she did._ She had been hungover the entire next day, skin marked up so badly by his nips and love-bites that she had been forced to use up her entire personal supply of bacta gel before venturing out at all.

"Yes. Although," she took a sip of her drink, "I don't remember it being quite so.."

"No. Different crowd." Han laughed, he didn't need her finish that sentence, he knew exactly what she meant.

"I like them."

"You sure? They're a little rough." He half warned.

"I can handle myself. And you. But I mean it; I like your friends." She added.

"Good. I think we should nose around a bit more - maybe take a couple weeks 'off' and see what we can dig up on this Karrde guy."

"Where are you thinking we should start? There seems to be a lot of different opinions out there."

"Not sure, I have a few places in mind - depends how long you want to disappear for."

Leia shrugged and handed him her mug to refill. "I have no where else to be."

"We need a hub."

"Ord Mantel?" She asked when he handed it back to her, noting the hesitation in her own voice. The last time they had been there had ended badly. Very badly. But, she took a breath inhaling the hot steam, that was another lifetime ago, a different lifetime. Just because something bad had happened there the last time - she shuddered inwardly against the memory of that horrible botched mission - didn't mean history was bound to repeat itself. Bounty hunter days were behind them - at least for the moment. Leia shuddered again.

"To start, maybe." Han had moved to the chair beside her.

"Ithor is good for intel."

"Very political right now though - something you will have to learn to what to avoid." He smirked at her, and she shot him a faux irritated glare.

"But it's a good place to learn about what's going on." she countered.

"So is Nar Shaddaa, but..." He trailed off, worry clouding his eyes.

"I've never been there. Sounds like fun. Could run into a few ex-girlfriends of yours, I'm sure they have all kinds of stories to share." She teased lightly trying to sway the quickly darkening mood.

"Could be." he replied softly as she lightly traced the scar on his chin with her thumb.

"Leia-"

"It'll be fine. Trust me." Her quiet words pounded against the inside of his mind. Haunting him. Damn.

"Well. If it isn't the most popular couple in the galaxy. Good morning, Leia. You look lovely."

Han scowled at his friend and straightened up. Scowling - or any form of annoyance typically just encouraged a triumphant grin and more flirting, but Han couldn't help it.

"Thank you, good morning. I made caf - I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. You do look lovely in my kitchen in the morning - I could get use to this."

"You should try the caf before you make statements like that." She pointed out.

"Did you happen to talk to Wyn last night?" Lando turned to Han, who was still scowling at him.

"I did."

"And?"

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing."

"What did you say!" Han repeated, anger creeping into his voice.

"Here, sit down." Leia intervened, offering their host her seat and sliding around the back of Han's chair, hands winding down his shoulders and across his chest. He glanced quickly back to her and smiled knowingly. Arguing was apparently back on the no-no list. Han looked across to Lando, jaw set.

"I may have mentioned you were bored and looking for something to take the edge off."

"I'm not bored. And" he pointed an accusatory finger at his friend. "I don't need to 'take the edge off' anything. Work, Lando. That's what I - we," he caught himself, "want. I am not interesting is dragging Leia all over the galaxy chasing laser brained deals for that idiot."

"You asked for my help."

"No. I asked you if you needed any help - that's different."

"Now, I'm still rather new to this 'mercenary' thing," Leia said, effectively taking command of the conversation before it led to something stronger. "But chasing some random lead from a random man to an unknown destination for an indeterminable amount of time doesn't really seem like the best way to start out."

"Well. Look who isn't just ornamental." A high pitched voice startled them all from the galley entrance. The blond woman who had been hanging on Lando during that party - _And apparently during the night,_ Leia thought ungraciously before she could stop herself - strutted into the kitchen, clad in nothing except a long shelve tshirt of Lando's which grazed her mid-thigh. She made a show of kissing Lando first and then tossed Han a slutty smile and rolled her hips a little more than was necessary while passing the table. She spun and crossed one ankle seductively over the over, leaning against the counter. Smugly grinning at Leia - obviously empowered by the comfortable quietness of the princess's appearance; sitting in stark contrast to her own current state of near-undress.

_Shut it down._ Leia's darkness bloomed and retracted. _Stupid bitch. Ornamental? Ironic._

"Oh," Leia laughed, once. A short targeted laugh. It made her slightly nervous, the edge behind it. But there was power in it as well, and she let that roll across her instead. "I've never been _ornamental_." There it was. A threat. Everyone heard it - the galley stilled. The blond swallowed and tugged at the bottom hem of her shirt, suddenly uncomfortable. Lando's smile widen fractionally - was Han though who had caught her entire attention. Eyes narrowed and darkened slightly, stance changed. He was turned on. He was hers.

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Yes, she could handle herself. And him.

It was time to move. Things were about to get interesting again.

* * *

The air outside was warm - unusual for this late in the third season. It hung around him; still and silent with a hint of sweet grass.

Luke sat on the small balcony facing the city, eyes closed. He breathed deeply; a slow and steady rhythm. The greenery under him leaving small imprints in his skin.

The suite's thick carpeted balcony of sweet Borleias grass had been Leia's idea. Something organic and clean. Leia loved grass - had grown up surrounded by it.

Loved it and missed it. Such vegetation an impossible luxury on his dry, arid homeworld, Leia had made a well argued case for his need to be grounded, to have something natural in his life to centre him in between all the duracrete and metal and imitation on the capitol city. She argued grass would help him meditate and find his peace.

Looking back it was perhaps a selfish request on her part; as he would typically find her - especially if Han was off-world on assignment - sitting alone, eyes closed, hands running across the soft blades, toying with them between her fingers, twisting the small spines unto loose curls. And all the while she would hum a tuneless, meandering melody. He never dared ask her what it was; content to simply let her sit there and feel at home for a while.

Han never really understood Leia's obsession with grass. Having grown up in space, grass was never something he longed for. Space and sky. Limitless possibilities, that's what his friend hunted. Leia chased _home_. And the beautiful possibilities which went hand in hand with the desire to be grounded to something, someone. Perhaps they both chased that, his sister and his friend, in their own way. Together they both grounded each other and allowed the freedom to be completely boundless.

Luke envied them. He always had. Now, of course, differently. He envied their closeness. He longed for the kind of partner they had found in each other.

He sighed and closed his eyes, in vain effort to pull away from the self misery of loneliness welling up inside of him.

He was so easily distracted these days.

Finding his focusing shifting further and further outside of himself.

Breathing deep he focused on the steady rhythmic pulsing of his heart.

_Leia._

His attention snapped again.

Irrational anger and a brief stab of fear pierced through him. _Leia!_

His sister was usually guarded, protective of her emotions, hard to read and even harder to gauge. The last three days had taken it's toll on her and it was starting to fray that unscratchable demeanor.

The surface rippled again.

Leia had found a tentative peace with her lineage over the last few years. Or so he thought. She never spoke of it. He had tried, of course, for a while to get her to come to terms with who they were, what that meant. He had wanted her to start engaging, inquiring and she hadn't responded to that, he pushed harder, demanding that she learn, even if only to protect herself from what she feared. He wanted to teach her and felt she should want to learn. That plan had backfired and landed him on Han's defensive side. It was a side of his best friend he had seen before, but seeing it and being on the receiving end of it were two very different things. The ferocity by which Han protected Leia from him was shocking. It had rocked him and had taken a great deal of apologizing and back-peddling to get back inside their little world again.

Fear zinged once more through his veins before settling uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach.

Luke uncrossed his legs and stretched out. Meditating was clearing off the agenda, he needed to focus on his small family. They were so important to him, and they were hurting. Leia's hasty resignation from the New Republic and Han's subsequent departure from the Navy had what seemed like the whole galaxy in an uproar. But the Han Solo who had called him earlier was worried - that in itself was worth being concerned about. He pushed himself up and passed quietly through the door, resting a hand lightly on R2's domed top as he passed. The droid tweeted and sang to life, emitting a series of pops and beeps.

"We'll go down to the hanger later, Artoo. I need to call Leia."

Artoo's happy, plucky beeping sang behind him and he walked quickly towards the comm and punched a series of codes. He needed to help her. She was starting to loose herself.

* * *

"Leia." The familiar soft spoken voice interrupted her quiet tinkering. She straighten; coolant leak forgotten for the moment, dripping at an agonizingly slow pace onto the landing pad - pooling in a small puddle, tinted a faint blue, at her feet.

"Mon." She didn't turn on purpose, instead watching the hull of the _Falcon_ , tracing the patchwork of metal, finding abstract patterns in the multitude of small scrapes and score lines marring the finish.

"I came to," Mon Mothma paused uncomfortably for a moment, and cleared her throat quietly. "To wish you well in your travels."

"Oh."

"Both of you." She added quickly.

"That's very kind. Thank you."

"Leia-"

"Everything okay?" Han's concerned voice came from behind them both.

"Captain Solo, hello. Yes, I just came by to wish you both well before you leave." Mon hastily answered. Leia turned, mildly surprised by her forced light tone and met Han's eyes as he stood tall behind her use-to-be mentor and friend.

Han watched Leia straighten, her chin raising slightly in that adorable haughty way it always did. She looked every ounce the royal pain in the ass he had rescued off the first Death Star seven years ago. Except now she was different. Now, she was his. A streak of coolant line degreaser blazed across the right side of her chin and down both forearms. The sight of her working on his beloved ship broke his heart. He _loved_ her. He would catch himself watching her sometimes; happy to just watch her be normal.

Be free.

He loved her like that, the real Leia, the one only he got to witness. The Leia who mumbled to herself while reading briefing notes for an upcoming meeting, rolling her eyes and chewing on her lower lip as she jotted notes in the margins of reports. Or cursed loudly when she thought she was alone, laying on her back on the floor of the maintenance hatch for the _Falcon,_ banging on an electrical conduit with a hammer, because she said she could do it herself, and she would rather lay there for hours angry and exhausted than admit she couldn't undo the coupling. Or like she was at this moment, standing in front of a woman she had known and respected all her life with grease from a smuggling ship streaking across her fair skin and utility belt slung attractively low across her hips. She was a force to be reckoned with. And Mon Mothma knew it.

He had liked Mon, sort of. He understood her at least. Appreciated her tenacity. He didn't like that he liked her. But he did. When he had first met her, he had expected to want to like her. Expected her to be a lot like Leia. And perhaps she would have been - had worry, responsibility and the tremendous weight of leadership not pressed on her shoulders for so long. Perhaps, Han reflected watching the two women carefully in front of him. the real issue was he pitied her, and she knew it.

A deep pinging noise shot through the air, making Leia jump. Han half tuned and grabbed her commlink from the crates beside him and handed it to her, coming to stand beside her, tucking her into himself.

"Luke?"

Han couldn't make out the other half of the conversation. Only watched worryingly as Leia's eyes narrowed and darkened.

"I'm fine. Yes really. We're packing up the _Falcon_. I thought you were coming down."

More mumbling. Han lifted his brows at her in question, half turning to place himself between her and Mon.

"I'm not discussing this with you, not now. Not ever."

She wouldn't meet his gaze, instead staring straight ahead as if trying to bore holes through the hull with her eyes.

"Well, come or don't come, then. I'm not sure what you want me to say to that... Yes, I know you are. Yes. I know. But I told you to leave it. Luke, please." she turned to half lean into him. "Sure... Right... Sounds fine. No, really that would be great."

He kissed the top of her head.

"See you then." She clicked the small device closed and quirked a brow at him.

"Luke's coming down to help us finish load up." She then turned to Mon Mothma who was standing stock still, watching them.

"Thank you for coming down. I'm sure we'll meet again. Somewhere. Now, if you will excuse us, we have a lot to finish."

"Yes of course. Good bye, Princess, Captain."

Han nodded at her and smiled tightly as the older woman turned to take her leave.

"Leia." She turned quickly when she stepped off the pad, "I'm sorry."

"Did she just say 'sorry'?" Han stood pointing incredulously at Mon Mothma's retreating form.

"I think so." Leia squinted.

"Huh. Sorry for what?"

"Exactly." Her jaw twitched. Reaching around to her utility belt, she pulled out a small spanner and turned back to the _Falcon's_ hull. She felt Han stride up beside her and shifted her eyes slightly to watch his tall frame duck down underneath where she was tinkering.

"What are you working on?" He asked after a moment.

"The coolant is leaking. I don't know why."

"Did you run the line?" He traced the blue tinted mess streaking the outside of the ship with his thumb.

"I was just about to." Leia answered quietly, distracted by his hands running over the metal in front of her face. She loved those hands.

"Here, I'll do that," he took the spanner from her gently, shaking her out of her thoughts. "You go call Luke back."

"But I don't-"

"I know. But we're leaving first thing tomorrow, Sweetheart."

Leia stood watching Han's back as he turned away from her, focusing on his crotchety ship instead; giving her time to heal the only family she had left.

"I'll be inside." She said quietly.


End file.
